Butterfly9990's Blog

FREEDOM, YEAH BABY, FREEDOM!

butterfly9990 — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 08:38:03 +0000

In recent weeks one of my teachers have been teaching on Freedom. Freedom from the conditions of man, traditions of man, judgement of man. It has been enjoyment to my spirit, soul and body. Much of my life has been lived in captivity in one form or another, by an abuser we will call J. I have only lived a true freedom for about seven years. I have only known my Savior, Father, Friend truly about eight or nine years. I would have to say that the freedom He has given my heart, my spirit is abundantly far surpassing any I could have ever imagined. I love to love now. I live to love. It is a grand and beautiful thing in which my Father has placed my heart. It is true that He has placed my feet on a Rock. He has gone before me and made a way for me. He lifted so much bondage, brokeness, fear, captivity from my physical and spirit body. I am a lighter, freer creature. So, while I enjoy the gift of freedom, my eyes these past few weeks have been watching, seeing, like a veil is being lifted the bondage of sin. I see people in a bondage to greed, jealousy, gossip, pettiness. I also, have been hearing the words of others that seek to destroy the teacher and his people that have an understanding in our Father to live freely from the condition of Man. It is not unlike the captivity I have experienced from J. So many years of blindness, chaos, hurt and pain I wasted on one tiny human existence. My God, Love, Father has shown me how much freedom I enjoy in Him, how it disturbs my soul to be in the midst of wolves, and snakes. He has given me great discernment, wisdom, grace, and protection from the condition of men. A few weeks ago I ran into someone at a party that looked much like J. It startled me for a bit, gnawed at me for awhile, I was at a loss of what I was suppose to understand by the sight. I knew there was something important brewing in my spirit. In worship my answer came…..look how Free I am to live outside of captivity. Live outside of shame. Live outside of prison. Live outside of sin. Live outside of torture. If you knew the weight of my existence in comparison to now it would astound you. It is so very Awesome, Incredible, Amazing, that my Lord allows me to live outside of bondage and still see it from the outside around me, even in the exact time my teacher is teaching on Freedom in Christ, in his Love. Time, its the Time thing he brings the past, present and future to the fore front in all his lessons. We just have to be seeking him for our lessons and his Love and Grace. I feel sorry for those that are caught in a captivity of sin from others and themselves. Those that parade around in their own egotistical existence and point fingers and lash out and gnash their teeth at the ones that live their lives for Love and Freedom. It is awful to watch the blind, and deaf walk in fear because they cannot see and cannot hear the true Love and Freedom of Christ.

Honor, Courage, Sacrifice…Heroes.

butterfly9990 — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:55:32 +0000

Memorial Day Weekend is upon us… This year Memorial Day is more than a weekend holiday. It means more this year.. My son returned home from Aghganistan last month, He came home alive, he came home with his arms and legs, He came HOME. He served in the most violent area of Aghganistan and 60% of his squad did not make it back Home to their Mom’s. My heart breaks, aches, weeps and grieves for those Moms, wives, children and Dad’s! I can feel the sorrow well up in my throat and eyes at the pain they live through daily. The pain also in their Military Brothers and Sisters hearts. The ones they served with feel the cut of greif as well I cannot tell you exactly thier feeling, because we don’t know unless we have served side by side in the battlefields with them. I do know they served thier country with Honor, Courage, Pride and Determination to get the job Done. What Honorable men and Women serve this country, this world. Where ever they go and what ever they do they serve with Honor and Courage. Courage beyond our imaginations. So this Memorial Day I will spend it with family poolside, at a BBQ, saying goodbye to family moving far, far way; but with my heart praying for those left in greif this year, and enjoying the freedom to swim, BBQ, Pray, Play and Love because of those who have given their lives for it.Remember those this year keep them in your mind as you play with your families and kiss your Babies and say a prayer for the families that have sacrificed a loved one this year. Give to the Wounded Warriors Project in Honor of those that have served you well.

This Blog dedicated to the 3/5 Darkhorse who served with passion and sacrificed MUCH! Love to you ALL, A Marine Mom

40 days and other spiritual thoughts….

butterfly9990 — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 01:23:33 +0000

Okay, so Sunday at church our Pastor was absent, he is on missions in another country, my mind was absent-minded, distracted, cluttered… Not because my Pastor was absent, but because lately that seems to be my natural state. I have to really concentrate hard, hard, hard!!!!! to focus and still I wonder around. We worshipping our Father and it is beautiful music, beautiful songs, I am brought to thinking how my Savior has picked me out of the miry dirty clay, placed me in his lap. I remember the days when I was so broken my heart and spirit, soul were shattered glass. I think why did he pick me and not someone else… There is a specific someone else that I am thinking…. I come to no conclusion, no answer, just that he picked me and healed me. I am not completely healed from old wounds, cuts, scrapes, dents, bruises that have been placed on my heart but I am glued, bandaged, my Daddy has kissed the boo, boos and made them feel better. There is alot of evidence that my Father/Daddy has kissed my boo,boos and healed them to mending because now I can look back at the pitiful creature and see the fingerprints he has left on my life, in my heart, my mind. I can see the place he has sat me down in the midst of a people, place I could never have imagined. I remember how my anger was my strength back then, how it drove me to live and survive. It is not a life of productivity, not a life lived on purpose. It is a life of reacting. I still have some anger in there and sometimes it rears it ugly head and I have to remember it is not my strength. Now, my strength is my healing and my healer who kissed my boo, boos to mend them. How did the healer kiss my boo,boos to mending….he forgave me and showed me forgiveness, how to forgive, what to forgive, who to forgive, and that really it is all for me. Forgiveness is tied to healing the spirit of anger, as Faith is to Hope. Then the music stopped and one my sisters shared how she had been forgiving someone she loved, how she had held on to the anger and now in the midst of Lent she is letting go…. This forgiveness and release of anger is rooted deep. The healer knows how to heal, love, mend. However, our healer prunes us as we do our roses, trees, plants so they sprout new blooms. Lent, reminded us of our mender in the wilderness amongst the beasts and animals. Have you ever been there??? Oh, how poetic is our mender!!! It reminds me how dirty I can get in the wilderness, in my sin and in someone elses. I thought during the teaching 40 days in the wilderness…. there are only a few verses that describe the temptation of our mender/healer. Somehow it is so much more real that Satan the deceiver stood next him when compared to me. I don’t know?? it takes my breath at evilness that stood next to the one I love so for my healing, the one who is holiest of holy. I know that in my temptation he stands next to me. I have been thinking 40 days no food, no drink, just pure temptation, how truly awful!!!! I think I could not withstand 40 days of temptation!! But I have, I remember I have learned discipline. Only because My mender/healer beat the temptation first, death first. My mender the Great Physician said to the deceiver Be gone!!! Satan for it is written You shall worship the Lord your God and only him shall you serve. This verse spoke to me…. Yeah, Satan You will serve the Lord your God. Because he is the Almighty God. We worship and serve the Lord our God. We forgive and serve our mender/healer and he picks us up puts us in his lap holds us through our pain and suffering, kisses our boo,boos and sets in the midst of his love. We grow through the wilderness, we grow through the valleys, we grow up on the mountain tops close to our God. We have our weapons, his word, his spirit, his love, his healing, our Hope/Faith.

In the Trenches of Faith

butterfly9990 — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 02:36:03 +0000

When life around me falls apart

When I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

When fear grips me

When sadness comes over me

When anger rises

When brokeness seeps in

When hurt plagues me

I must build

Build a Trench

A Trench of Faith

A Trench of Faith in my God

A Trench of Faith that surrounds me

A Trench of Faith in my God

A Trench of Faith that holds me

A Trench of Faith in my God

A Trench of Faith that guides me

A Trench of Faith in my God

A Trench of Faith that protects me

A Trench of Faith in my God!!!

Christmas Wish

butterfly9990 — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 04:50:28 +0000

Father this is my Christmas Wish

You see him my son you gave me to love

In a land far away from us

He fights for freedom, against the enemy

It is cold, wet, and dreary

My Christmas wish this year is not for diamonds, or gold

It is that you keep him warm on Christmas Day give him the memories his Daddy and I helped to make of Christmas past that it warms his heart and he smile and he laugh with joy in his heart.

That you whisper your love in both of his ears and he feels your spirit inside so deep

That you give him the heart of David, the wisdom of Paul, the enthusiasm of Peter, and the love of John

That your presence is seen by those he’s around

That you give him and his brothers who protect and fight every day laughter so hard their belly’s ache

That they share candy, cookies and stories and they feel a peice of home if only for a moment

That they share candy with a child over there and share the story of your son’s birth

Remember why they are there and what they are worth.

Then focus them back on the job at hand with no distractions

Just one more thing I will ask

Let him be home next Christmas!!

Oh, and Grandbabies some day!!!

TCAW

butterfly9990 — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 20:53:11 +0000

We come here, the broken

Some of us hazily unaware

Some of us in desperate need of acceptance

As your love slowly, gently seeps through our tiny holes of existence

We begin the journey of mending

Of healing

Some of us vaguely unaware

Some of us desperate to stop the pain and affliction of our wounds

Slowly your love seeps through to our tiny existence

We begin to mend

We begin to heal

We start to realize this place you’ve given, with ones just like us

A place of acceptance, a place of love

A body of broken pieces for the mender’s love

We begin to mend

We begin to heal

We reach out to the others broken

Unconditionally loved

That is what they need

We become menders

We become lovers

We become healed

What’s not said…

butterfly9990 — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:03:35 +0000

Hello??

Hey Mom

Hey Baby

We’re leavin today

Yeah

I just wanted to call ….. I love you

I love you too, baby

Silence………….

Are you flying?

I can’t tell you that.

Where are you going into?

I can’t tell you that??

What time are y’all leaving?

I can’t tell you that.

Did you get some rest?

You didn’t?

When was the last time you slept son?

Last night, I slept some last night.

Oh, Good.

Silence……

Are you Ready Son??

Yeah, I’m ready, Mom.

Silence…….

Did you get my message on FB?

No, what?

First, Your God is bigger than anything

Second, Your God is bigger than anything

Third, You are so Amazing and Courageous

Your Momma loves you more than anyone else

Your Momma Loves you more than anyone else

Silence………

I love you too, Mom

Is _____ going with you??

Yeah, he’s coming

Okay, you tell him to take care of you or I will kick his…

Chuckle, I’ll tell him.

You take care of him too!

I will

Is _____ going with you??

No, he’s gonna be here.

Oh Good.

Son?

What?

Do you need me to do anything for you?

Silence……

You do what ever you want?

Silence….

Oh, I’ll hop on a plane and come get you!

Laughing..No you can’t do that.

You be sure to get me your address quick so I can send you those protein bars

Okay

Do you have your Bible with you?

Yes

Are you sure?

Yes

Good.

I love you

Silence….

I love you too, Mom

I’m in Atlanta at a Women of Faith Conference

I know I talked to Dad

Oh, Good you talked to Dad?

Yeah, not long he was sleeping. It was 3 am. I wanted him to get back to sleep.

Silence….

Mom, I gotta go

I Love you…

I Love you baby.

Silence…

Weeping….

CHOICES AND CHAINS

butterfly9990 — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:00:08 +0000

CHOICES AND CHAINS

I hold dear the choice

Have held on to the chains

My heart, my soul

My flesh, my spirit

My choice, my chains

Tis he that breaks my chains, I know

Tis I that puts them on again and again

Tis he that breaks them link by link

Tis I that make them link by link

Links of chains weigh so heavy

Til my soul is drowned in sin

Tis the sorrowful struggle

I reap my choice and reap my chains

Tis he that whisper softly to my heart

The links are mine I broke them forever

He gave me choice

To break these chains

My choice, my choice

Realease my chains of sin

My choice, my choice

Trust in Him

500 STRONG

butterfly9990 — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 22:11:28 +0000

This week I had the blessing of observing 500 teens worship the Lord. It is amazing at the faith I have seen just over the last 24 hours. I live in Bartow County, GA. I am proud to say our communityof churches for the last 3 years has come together to serve the needy, poor, elderly in many ways. Mostly it has been the Teens. Some have known the Lord Jesus Christ before serving some came to know him after serving. I have missed this event the last two years for one reason or the other. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to join and be there for worship after the long day of work in the hot Georgia Sun. It has been a blistering heat, but that didn’t sway the 500 teens involved in Splash Bartow. They were the hands and feet of our Lord. What a powerful moment in time to see 500 Teens worship with their hands in the air stretched out to their God in deep, abounding contagious Love. To see the Spirit move them in a wave, was like seeing the Holy Spirit move across the large and filled room. The music was rockin and so were the teens, they were rockin to the power and Glory of the Almighty. To see their excitement, their enthusiasm, was like watching electricity move through the sky. I sat their in Awe of God’s Glory, I prayed thanks to my Jesus that he shared with me the privilege of seeing the Faith and Love of 500 Teens. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I will remember it in my heart as a treasure always. These teens have served the Lord and their community all week. They have worshipped with an energy like a lightning. They are 500 Strong with God’s Strength and Majesty!! Bartow County is Rich in Faith, Hope and Love.

God is Grand and his Glory is my hope…

butterfly9990 — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 06:51:13 +0000

Many of you know that I am a Marine Mom. It has been a long hard journey for me to say the least. One that puts me in the trenches a lot of the time. I was in the trenches July 3, I got a message from my Marine. We were expecting to have him home for 2 weeks before he is deployed but we are only going to get a week. I just immediately starting crying. I was very upset that we were only gonna see him a week. Now, before you start thinking that I am a big cry baby, I was feeling sorry for myself, let me just tell you this. Yes, I am a cry baby and I was feeling sorry for myself and I had every right too. We have been through one deployment and across the world stations. He has been to several countries. We get to talk to him sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes it is a months stretch. But we only get to see him about once a year. Pre-deployment visit is very important to a military family. So, I have known for awhile that he is being deployed and I have been telling myself its all cool, we have done this once we can do it again. I know what it takes, Its gonna be a walk in the park compared to the first time. Lie, Lie, Lie, Lie!!! To myself, Lie. Because the closer we get to the time the more I know I have to get out of a liars denial and deal with reality. So, this message reminded me of where the first deployment took me as a Mother watching her son walk into a places only the strongest, bravest, or insane dare tread. I know this is a Marine’s life, I know that he does it with honor and loves taking care of his country and his loved ones. He was definitely born to be a Marine. I am not one of those Marine Mom’s that will tell you it is the best thing in the world, that it is all honor and glory. I am the one that my very soul fights it every step of the way. I love my son, I love our Country, I am glad he is such an honorable, good man. The only way I can get through my time in the trenches is in God’s Grandness, in his Glory is where my hope resides. I was feeling alone in the trenches Saturday night. I was weepy, and very weak, despondent. I was all the while texting back and forth with my Marine being supportive and making light of the situation so he didn’t feel to bad. I was making deals with him from when he comes home from deployment and bribing him for lots of flowers, because he leaves on my birthday. But my heart was broken and I knew it was frivolous compared to what we had been through already. I just couldn’t help it. I was dreading his deployment now like the plague. So, Sunday morning like a good Marine Mom, I got up got ready for the day, made breakfast for my guys at home. We went to church. I was still trudging my spirit along knowing that the desperation of it all had my spirit crawling on the ground before the Lord like a whipped puppy dog. Then we began worship and as God says, it was good. But then our worship team led us into worship with the Battle Hymn of the Republic and this is the song that reminds me of Marines! I immediately stood to my feet and started crying. As I sang the words, God’s Grandness spoke to me and said remember it is my battle and I win. It was his way of saying I love you and I know you are scared but remember I am the one with the power and the glory. I am reminded that it is my trust and my hope in his Glory that gets me out of the trenches and into my strength which he gives me. It is in him where my Joy comes. It is his love that helps me endure the trenches. God is Grand and his Glory is my hope and my sustenance. I am blessed to be his child.

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:

He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;

He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:

His truth is marching on.

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps,

They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;

I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps:

His day is marching on.

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:

“As ye deal with my contemners, so with you my grace shall deal;

Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel,

Since God is marching on.”

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Since God is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;

He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat:

Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet!

Our God is marching on.

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Our God is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,

With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:

As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,

While God is marching on.

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

While God is marching on.

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,

He is Wisdom to the mighty, He is Succour to the brave,

So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,

Our God is marching on.

(Chorus)

Glory, glory, hallelujah!

Our God is marching on.