Okay, so Sunday at church our Pastor was absent, he is on missions in another country, my  mind was absent-minded, distracted, cluttered… Not because my Pastor was absent, but because lately that seems to be my natural state.  I have to really concentrate hard, hard, hard!!!!! to focus and still I wonder around.  We worshipping our Father and it is beautiful music, beautiful songs, I am brought to thinking how my Savior has picked me out of the miry dirty clay, placed me in his lap. I remember the days when I was so broken my heart and spirit, soul were shattered glass.  I think why did he pick me and not someone else… There is a specific someone else that I am thinking…. I come to no conclusion, no answer, just that he picked me and healed me.  I am not completely healed from old wounds, cuts, scrapes, dents, bruises that have been placed on my heart but I am glued, bandaged, my Daddy has kissed the boo, boos and made them feel better.  There is alot of evidence that my Father/Daddy has kissed my boo,boos and healed them to mending because now I can look back at the pitiful creature and see the fingerprints he has left on my life, in my heart, my mind. I can see the place he has sat me down in the midst of a people, place I could never have imagined.  I remember how my anger was my strength back then, how it drove me to live and survive.  It is not a life of productivity, not a life lived on purpose.  It is a life of reacting.  I still have some anger in there and sometimes it rears it ugly head and I have to remember it is not my strength.  Now, my strength is my healing and my healer who kissed my boo, boos to mend them. How did the healer kiss my boo,boos to mending….he forgave me and showed me forgiveness, how to forgive, what to forgive, who to forgive, and that really it is all for me.  Forgiveness is tied to healing the spirit of anger, as Faith is to Hope. Then the music stopped and one my sisters shared how she had been forgiving someone she loved, how she had held on to the anger and now in the midst of Lent she is letting go….  This forgiveness and release of anger is rooted deep. The healer knows how to heal, love, mend.  However, our healer prunes us as we do our roses, trees, plants so they sprout new blooms.  Lent, reminded us of our mender in the wilderness amongst the beasts and animals.  Have you ever been there??? Oh, how poetic is our mender!!! It reminds me how dirty I can get in the wilderness, in my sin and in someone elses. I thought during the teaching 40 days in the wilderness…. there are only a few verses that describe the temptation of our mender/healer.  Somehow it is so much more real that Satan the deceiver stood next him when compared to me.  I don’t know??  it takes my breath at evilness that stood next to the one I love so for my healing, the one who is holiest of holy.  I know that in my temptation he stands next to me.  I have been thinking 40 days no food, no drink, just pure temptation, how truly awful!!!! I think I could not withstand 40 days of temptation!! But I have, I remember I have learned discipline.  Only because My mender/healer beat the temptation first, death first.  My mender the Great Physician said to the deceiver Be gone!!! Satan for it is written You shall worship the Lord your God and only him shall you serve.  This verse spoke to me…. Yeah, Satan You will serve the Lord your God.  Because he is the Almighty God.  We worship and serve the Lord our God.  We forgive and serve our mender/healer and he picks us up puts us in his lap holds us through our pain and suffering, kisses our boo,boos and sets in the midst of his love.  We grow through the wilderness, we grow through the valleys, we grow up on the mountain tops close to our God.  We have our weapons, his word, his spirit, his love, his healing, our Hope/Faith.

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