I want to tell you about someone special in my life. We are alike in so many ways and different in just as many ways. First let me tell you that she is a beautiful young woman. She is the essence os femaleness. When you look at her you see the Grace of a woman. Some people may not see this in her but I have noticed it for about a year and a half now. She fights and awful disease every day. It is not a disease that will take away your physical life. But instead it is a mental disease that plagues every corner of your mind. Yet she fights it with her whole being everyday. This alone shows her courage and her relationship with our precious Father. There is something else I want you to know about this Firefly, she has sacrificed and showed courage just in trying to have a family. She has a beautiful little boy and she is now pregnant with her second child. I admire this Firefly because she has tried to come off her medicine to carry this second child just as she did with the first child. You see my friend cannot sleep without her meds. She has been known to be awake for days. This is amazing to me. I love sleep and I cannot function without it. I cannot imagine being awake for days at a time. She shows the very essence of the beauty of motherhood. When she holds her little boy and you see him look at her and her look at him, well, it will take your breath away. It is a wonderful bond that you feel you interupt just by looking at the closeness. She sacrifices all that she can for her babies. Then . She is also a magnificent artist. Her paintings are amazing, sketches are beautiful, her photography definitely has a different kind of artistic flair. I believe she is a wonderful creation of my Father and she is one of the Fireflies in my life. When she speaks you hold your breath for the laughter that will grab you from her honesty. If you want to know the truth she will tell you!!! My life is richer, it is like chocolate cake with her in it. I love you Firefly you know your name.
I recently went to the Women of Faith conference in Atlanta, GA. The weekend was amazing on so many different levels I can’t begin to explain all of it. However I do want to explain Fireflies. A Firefly is a person in your life that has illuminated it in a way. Someone you have loved, someone who has inspired you, someone you look up too, someone who knows you inside and out. Now a Firefly does not have to do all of this at the same time nor all of these on the list. These are just examples. I can tell you that every woman that spoke or sang that weekend is definitely a firefly in many womens hearts. I want to tell you about a particular Firefly in my heart this week. Her name is Mary Lou and she illuminates a room with her beautiful smile and precious dancing eyes. Mary Lou is a friend who always bugged me about smoking. I would be very uncomfortable and she would always say… You will do it one day. It occurred to me everytime she asked and everytime she responded that she had a belieft that I would be able to quit smoking one day. I didnt even believe it would happen most of the time but I did want it too. Well, half of me did. The other half hung on by my fingernails. I always remembered that Mary Lou believed in me and inspired me to quit smoking. I have been a non smoker for a year now. I want to say to my Firefly Mary Lou thank you for being such a wonderful illuminator and friend and inspiring and believing in others. I love you!!! By the way to smokers out there who dont believe in yourself as a non smoker, give to God he will deliver you!! Trust me I am his living proof!!
I want to tell you about my Father.
I want you to know how Amazing he is.
I want you to know how kind he is
I want you to know how loving he is
I want you to know how gentle he is
I want you to know how beautiful he is
I want you to know how joyful he is
I want you to know how he loves you
I want you to know how he cares for you
I want you to know how he tends to you
I want you to know how he died for you
I want you to know his majesty
I want you to see his Glory
I want you to feel his energy
I want you to taste his essence
I want you to know him
I want you to love him
I want you to feel him
I want you to surrender all to him
I want you to be his child
I want you to be in him
I want him to be in you
I want this because it is True.
A mothers memory…
01/23/2009 butterfly9990 Edit
My oldest son will be 22 years old on Saturday. He has been a silver lining in my life for 22 years. I am so blessed to be his Mom.
22 years ago…..
The snow was melting on the ground, you were 2 days late. I was so happy you were late, because it snowed the day you were suppose to arrive. I spent the night before at my friends house. My dad was there the next morning to pick me up. I told him and her that I was gonna have you that day. Somehow, I just knew. I had slept so good and dreamt of you. An hour later my labor started. I had plans to go and buy a bumper pad for your bed. It was gonna be a gift from your PawPaw. I had it all picked out, teddy beddy bear. So, I just had to have it in that bed before you got here. So, I didn’t tell anyone I was in labor so that I could go get it for your bed. So, me and your PawPaw went to the baby store my contractions were about 20 min apart. I kept asking what time it was, keeping time hoping I could get this one last thing done. I got the bumper pad and I was so happy. We left the store and I asked PawPaw what time is it? He finally caught on to why I was keeping time. He was not happy with me for going shopping and hiding my labor from him. He took me home. I went to the doctor he said it could be a week before you were born. I knew you would be there that day. I left went home and had 15 more hours of labor. Finally, it was time to go to the hospital. I got there and I had a bad feeling that something was wrong. So, I kept going into the bathroom and the doctor kept missing me. Finally, I gave in and saw the doctor. The nurses discovered something was wrong and went to get the doctor. They told me I would have to have a c-section. This scared me so bad. I wouldn’t sign the papers for surgery. Pawpaw came up to the hospital and talked to me. He held my face in his hands and kissed me and told me I was the bravest person he had ever known. He told me I could have the surgery and you and I would be fine. I consented to the surgery and you were born. It was the first beautiful moment in my life. They brought you to me and I said Hey Darlin, you turned your head to look at me. You knew exactly who I was and recognized my voice. I fell in love with you forever, that very moment. From then on I have watched you grow from a beautiful blue-eyed baby boy to a beautiful blue-eyed Marine. My life is richer because God put you in my life. You have been worth all we have been through together and I will love you the rest of my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON
a year in an amazing journey
12/29/2008 butterfly9990 Edit
Here we are at the end of another year. I would like to say Thank God it is over and we begin anew, but do I really begin anew with my relationship with my Father, Lord, Creator, Savior, True Love…. I could say here that no I don’t begin a new year with him because he ofcourse in reality he has no time like you and I. I could say that our relationship is not a new one but really when compared to all the years I have been his creation it is a rather new relationship. However, this year in my time has definitely been newwer, different, profoundly revealing of my relationship with my Father, Savior, Miracle worker, True Love, and I could go on and on with what he has been to me this year and never quite touch the whole truth. I can also say about this past year that he has led me on an amazing journey of his love and patience and guidance. He has revealed truth, trust, love, patience, sin, darkness, and his light.
We started our year this year with our son telling us he would be going to Iraq in August. This was our greatest fear. I had begged God not to let him go there. That was the first deployment my son received. I thought You asked me to trust you and your sending him to Iraq??? I begged you not to do this??? Here we are facing our greatest fear. At this point I was extremely upset. Heartbroken. I began to realize that what I feared most was not only losing my son to war but knowing that our Father controls everything and losing my son and being disappointed in the one I love most and trust most, My God. Could I handle that, could I still lose my son and keep my loving relationship with my Father. The answer, well came to me much later this year. I thought God was moving me deeper with my trust.
Then my youngest son and my husband went on a mission trip to Mexico. As we look to seek him in the trials we must also seek him in his goodness. I was blown away that my guys were going to teach the word in another country and that is the work of God in my Guys. He revealed himself in them as they left and when they came home and everyday it seems since then. My guys have a deeper faith, love in the lord and seek him diligently. What a mighty work our Lord has done with both of them I write this with deepest Thanksgiving. It is this part of the Journey this year that I have seen the sweetness, gentleness, joyfulness of my Father. While my guys were gone the evil one was attacking here and I was stronger in my faith than ever. I recognized the work of my Father and his enemy. I laughed and I scoffed at the enemy for I knew my Redeemer Lives and will forever.
Then in July he brought me to my knees revealing to me truth. This one is too outrageous and personal for me to tell descriptively. However, there was a truth revealed about my life early on that devastated me. I was extremely hurt, angry, sorrowful. It made me question my everything about myself. It brought forth an last bit of anger and false doubt that needed healing. It was so unreal to me I could not understand why my Father would want me to know such an awful thing. Why would he want me to know something that would hurt my innermost being to see the darkness??? The truth will set you FREE!!! His love is in ABUNDANCE. He reveals HIMSELF to all that love him. He is the great PHYSICIAN, HEALER, LOVER. He wants you to know how far he will go to show his love for you. He wants you to know how far you have gone to accept it and give it back. He shows you true forgiveness!!! He shows you TRUE LOVE. In this one I saw his Glory, I was in AWE, unable to Move, only to Cry, to Weep, for his Glory is bigger than I can wrap my mind or my heart around, it is unimaginable, it is to us impossible to grasp. What he has done for me alone is unbelieveable. Glory in the Highest My Lord.
REPENTENCE
I have repented harming my temple with cigarettes. I have not done this on my own only with the help of my Father. Over the last year and a half I tried to quit 13 times. I never really knew I could live without smoking. I never really understood how it was going to happen. Then one day he said quit this, he showed me someone who did quit. Someone I thought was weaker in him. I thought well, if they can do it without him, I can certainly do it with him. It was a quiet, peacefulness that came only from him. I prayed away cravings and chewed gum til my mouth was bruised. I have no desire to ever put another cigarette in my mouth again. Hallelujiah, Hallelujiah, Amen!!
YE THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE SHADOW OF DEATH, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, FOR THOU ART WITH ME.
Then my precious sister-in-law was diagnosed with Cancer. Then she was here no more. We walked through the shadow of death, we feared not because we fought, we knew he was all we had left. When it was over he had revealed he was with us the whole time and was my comfort. See the blog… I Prayed.
Through it all I thought he was saying Trust Me. In a way he was but what he has taught me this year is that He Loves Me, Oh, How He Loves Me. How I Love Him, Oh, How I Love Him.
I’m Dying to be a butterfly (surrender of self)
unhindered and set free (set free of all sin)
to show the beautiful colors (to show your glory)
you have made of me. (testimony of your love)
light airy wings (your yoke is easy)
ready to take flight. (share you with the world)
I’m dying to be a butterfly
unhindered and set free
to show the beautiful colors
you have made of me.
Sylvia Hess
Thank you my Father, Saviour, True Love, Daddy, Miracle Worker for a great year with you. Our Journey will continue…..
A TRUE LIFE STORY….
ONCE UPON A TIME LONG, LONG AGO IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY THERE WAS AN AWESOME DADDY. HIS NAME WAS YAHWEH. YAHWEH CREATED A BEAUTIFUL AWESOME PLAYGROUND WITH LUSH SOFT GRASS FOR YOU TO ROMP AND PLAY IN. HE CREATED HUGE THICK TREES FOR YOU TO CLIMB AND LOOK ABROAD AND SEE ATOP THE WORLD ALL AROUND. HE CREATED CREEKS FOR YOUR FEET TO TO WADE IN, HUNT CRAWDADS IN, WITH BEAUTIFUL SMOOTH ROCKS FOR YOU TO LOOK AND WONDER OVER. HE CREATED A BEAUTIFUL WINDING RIVER FOR YOU TO BATHE IN AND FEEL THE WATER RUSH OVER YOU. HE CREATED GORGEOUS BLUE LAKES FOR YOU TO FIND FISH AND CREATURES SLIMY AND WET. HE CREATED GREAT ON GOING OCEANS FOR YOU TO STAND NEXT TO AND FEEL THE SEA BREEZE UPON YOUR FACE; TO HEAR THE SOFT ROAR OF THE WAVES LAP UPON THE SAND. AN OCEAN SO GREAT THAT WHEN YOU SIT AT ITS SHORE AND LISTEN TO THE WAVES, SMILE AT THE BREEZE THAT BLOWS UPON YOUR FACE, SEE THE GREATNESS OF ON GOING OCEAN, YOU KNOW YOUR DADDY IS THE BIGGEST DADDY EVER. THEN HE CREATED THE HEAVENS OF SUNS, MOONS, STARS, CLOUDS, COLORS OF REFRESHNESS. THE STARS ARE SO BRIGHT, SO ILLUMINATING, THAT WHEN YOU GAZE UPON THEM, IT IS LIKE A GLOW OF YOUR SPIRIT. MOONS SO BIG THE LIGHT PEIRCES EVEN THE DARKEST OF DARKNESS. BLUE SKYS AND PUFFY WHITE CLOUDS YOU DREAM OF SLUMBER INSIDE ONE; TO TAKE IT FOR RIDES LIKE GLIDING ON THE WIND. A SUN, SO BRIGHT, THAT YOU ARE GUIDED BY ITS LIGHT ALL DAY. A NIGHTIME DARK BLUE THAT LULLS YOU INTO CALMNESS AND QUIET. ANIMALS AND CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL HE CREATED. ANIMALS TO ROAM THE PLAYGROUND LIVE OFF OF THE LUSH GRASS AND GREAT HUGE TREES. SMALL CREATURES TO CRAWL UPON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, RIVERS, AND CREEKS. BIRDS TO FLY IN THE AIR FREE IN THE BEAUTIFUL WIND. THEN THE AWESOME DADDY, YAHWEH RESTED. HE LOOKED UPON HIS CREATION AND SAW THAT IT WAS ABSOLUTE BEAUTY.
AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH DECIDED HE WANTED TO SHARE HIS LOVE AND HE CREATED A MAN. A CHILD CREATED IN HIS OWN IMAGE WITH A MIND AND SPIRIT. A MANCHILD HE WALKS AND TALKS WITH ON THE PLAYGROUND. SO, AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH CREATED THE AWESOME PLAYGROUND JUST SO HE COULD WALK AND TALK WITH HIS MANCHILD. HE PUT HIS MANCHILD IN CHARGE OF ALL THE ANIMALS AND CREATURES BOTH GREAT AND SMALL ON THE PLAYGROUND. YAHWEH SAW HIS CHILD NEEDED TO SHARE HIS LOVE AS WELL. HE TOLD HIM TO LOOK THROUGH ALL OF THE ANIMALS NAME THEM AND SEE IF HE COULD FIND A MATE OF HIS OWN LIKING. THE MANCHILD LOOKED THROUGH ALL THE ANIMALS AND DID NOT FIND A MATE OF HIS OWN LIKING. SO, AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH CREATED A WOMAN FROM THE MANCHILDS RIB. SO THE WOMAN WOULD BE OF THE MANS KIND. SHE COULD MEET HIS NEEDS AND IN TURN WAS CREATED WITH A MIND AND SPIRIT IN THE IMAGE OF MAN AND AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH. THE WOMAN WAS THE LAST CREATION OF AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH AND SHE WAS HIS CROWNING GLORY. SHE WOULD SHOW BEAUTY AND LOVE THE REST OF HER DAYS. YAHWEH NAMED THE MANCHILD ADAM AND THE WOMAN EVE. AWESOME DADDY YAHWEH SAID THAT HIS CREATION WAS GOOD.
Today as I entered into the sanctuary service had already begun, our worship leader asked does anyone have a scripture they would like to share, the first that came to my mind is … The Lord is my Rock and my Salvation of whom shall I fear? Then I heard the thought no, that is always the one that comes to you… as I walked to my seat the other scripture came to me… Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Hebrews 12:12 But it was too late, our worship leader had waited for someone long enough and she shared the scripture she was lead to share all week. Maybe I was suppose to share Hebrews 12:12 maybe I was not suppose to … but the next hour rocked me out because our pastor spoke how he had been leading church wrong for to long trying to get Jesus in us should be teaching how to get Jesus out of us. I dont mean he should be teaching us against Jesus. Rather he should be teaching us how to share our Jesus, our scriptures that are lead to us weekly, psalms, hymns, songs, love etc. with each other and the unchurched. We also prayed for a very special friend of mine. We were praying for her and her daughter, what we were asking for really was healing. A healing for each of them and together for their relationships. When we speak psalms, hymns, scripture to each other to me it is a form of worship and healing. What Jesus did when he came here on earth and died for our sins is he healed us of our iniquities this is why he is the Great Physician. Redemption, Truth, Love all lead to or come from healing. That is my story with Jesus. I am healed by his blood, his majestical love, his suffering sacrifice. My story is he brought me out of devastating darkness into a healing light and he does it for me daily. Daily because today I live a powerful life of Joy even on my worst days compared to the past devastatingly dark days. He healed me and gave me abundant love and joy!!! Even on the days I am not paying attention, I seem lost in my selfish self I am healed by his blood. This is all relative to the last blog about me judging and being judged because of my last recent blog offending someone. It was about a healing that Jesus was bringing me through, I removed it and have struggled whether to return it or not. So If I want Jesus to come out of me I must testify to the healing he brings me through…. so I will publish it again … I will continue to write of my Father and his healing and other revelations he brings out of me…. Thank you for using me as your vessel my sweet, sweet, Jesus.
05/17/2009 butterfly9990 Edit
There is a little girl that goes to my church. Today she was baptised. It is always a Glorious Day when someone is baptised, because you know that they are going to be with our Father one day in heaven. They are not going to the bad place. You (as a Christian) know that you have just gained a new sister or brother in Christ. It is a time of rejoicement. Today was more than a rejoicement for me as a child of God. Most of the week I have known that Isabella was to be baptised today. I read it in an email. Then there was the spirit telling me ever so often Isabella is being baptised. I thought I needed to bring my camera. I made a mental note to do so. I haven’t taken pictures at the church in a long time. I thought the Holy Spirit was telling me to get ready. I ran off to church this morning and left my camera on my desk. It was more than that it was a feeling for sheerness everytime I thought of Isabella being baptised. So, I paid very close attention with a little excitement when the event started to take place. At my church baptism is an event. It is not a dunking and everybody prays and sings. It is a testimony, there is the Holy Spirit moving. There is a reason, a story behind everyones baptism. Isabella is a gorgeous beautiful little girl who is quite intelligent and mindful. She is a special child. You see Isabella is a child chosen by her parents. She was as her Daddy said their choice as a child. She is adopted. This fact alone is, I am sure a Glory of God!! If you ever watch this family you would see the best Mommy and Daddy in myopinion at our church. They are patient, tender, loving, and firm. You do not see anger or frustration. Isabella was telling her story with our Pastor. I was paying very close attention, because I had been nudged by the Holy Spirit during the week and this morning before church. I saw her there sitting up front, I thought this is what Jesus meant when he said these are the kind heaven. Come to me as a child. Then there was a video of Isabella speaking about baptism and what it meant to her. Why she wanted to be baptised. Most importantly was the part of her realtionship with Jesus. She loves to dance for him. Worship him in Dance. She loves to say his name. There was video of her dancing. She was sincere and beautiful in her dance for her Savior, King, God. It was so very inspiring. It was filling me with rejoicement. Then Isabella was baptised by her Daddy into the Kingdom of her Father. It was the most beautiful baptism I have seen at our church. We sang and worshipped our God. I was crying and worshipping and dancing in place. I was filled with the Holy Spirit. Then I was in prayer thanking our Father that Isabella was saved and baptised. I was thanking our Father that he gave her a family that loved her and cared for her. I was thanking our Father that he chose her too. I was crying with happiness.
This last summer I was on vacation with my family and I found out that there is a very big possibility that my mother tried to posion me with lighter fluid when I was 2 years old. I suffered in and out of the hospital for years with pneumonia and bronchitis. My mother was an alcoholic. There is no doubt that she must have had some mental disturbment also and probably was self medicating with alcohol. Life with her was always a huge struggle. One of abuse in many ways for longer than it should have been. I was healed by my Lord Jesus Christ of the effects of it. I fought depression, post traumatic stress disorder and anger for a very very long time. I thought last summer we were done with that. Until, My God revealed the posioning to me. It sent me into a quiet traumatic rage inside. I did not slide back into a depression but I handled quietly with God. I knew the steps I had to take to heal. I forgave both my mother and my father for the posioning and the lie they told. I asked God to why I needed to know this now. Why after all the counseling and surrendering did he want me to know something so awful. The next Sunday while worshipping he told me it was because he took all the sin just for me. He meant all the sin of my mother and abuse to all of us, my father’s sin that was involved in all of it. My sin in all of it also. All of this sin was mind boggling, it was larger than I could wrap my head around. All I could do was stand there and weep. I could not move, I could not sing, I could not dance. I could only weep. His sacrifice was enormous just for me alone.
Here is what I know, we will all suffer but our God, Our Precious loving Savior will lead you to healing through his enormous love. He nudged me all week about a beautiful little girl I barely know. He showed me a little girl who loves to dance for her Savior, and say his beautiful name. He revealed to me she is in a loving safe home with a Mommy and a Daddy who chose her, He chose her to be in his loving arms forever. It was healing, and loving, and Awesome.
I must apologize for not sharing this testimony with you earlier. I should have but I have kept it mostly to myself. I should be yelling from the roof tops. Jesus Loves You. He Died For You. He took All Your Sin. He Did It Because His Love Is Wide, Deep, and Abounding. It is Personal. If You Don’t Know Him, and you want to be loved like this , email me at sylvia_9990@yahoo.com I will share his love with you.
Yes, I removed some of my blogs… I spoke with a dear friend of mine today whom asked me to put them back on here. In fact, she said she would be offended if I did not. I have been judged by some and maybe in there opinion I maybe wrong about some things written. Here is the real question do I really care about there opinion??? Some part of me says… no not really, but if I offend is it not the loving thing to do to remove the blog??? Have I judged others in what they do or say or write about??? I have judged others, however, writing to me is a very personal matter. I believe in total creativity. Take what you want from it and leave the rest. My opinion may not be your opinion. But hey we are not the same so we are going to have different opinions. I do not want to offend my brothers or sisters therefore if I offend I must repent. So, we are at a crossroads. Its not like I write for the Major Paper or even a small publication. Just a blog, not many people read it. It is there for me to express myself, to reach others, to love the world by opening myself up and living out loud. Maybe it is a consequence, a reap what you sow about judging other people. I know we all do it. People watchers do it all the time. I love to people watch. I love to study people when they have no idea someone is watching. Really, is this not a form of judging???
Judging other people for what they look like, how they talk, where they come from, who their Moma is, what their occupation is.. what has hurt them or who has hurt them or why, what makes them happy, what makes them exuberent, what makes them sad, what makes them write. All forms of Judgement. So, why do we put ourselves out there for the judgement?? Why do we judge. To make ourselves look better in our own eyes. To mean something to ourselves.
Not to long ago, I would not care what someone thought about my writing. If they had an offense to what I wrote… I would not care one whip. I might even take the bait and argue. Now, its really not worth it to take the bait and argue. There are so many things I care about more. So much more to do. So, I will ponder whether or not to serve my heart and my spirit to the public before I make a decision. I will pray about it. I will consider a lesson learned about judgement of anyone and try to catch myself before I offend myself or others in judging.
As she lay in bed resting in a night of sleep
I prayed
As she lay in bed her body fighting the theif
I prayed
When she lay in bed sleeping with muscle spasms
I massaged her legs
I prayed
When she lay in bed sleeping agitated
I held her hand rubbed her tiny fingers gently
I prayed
When she awoke needed help out of bed
I pulled her body up
I kissed her lips gently with a sisters love
I prayed
As she lay in a deep sleep
I rebuked the theif destroying her body
I told it in your name leave
Every morning just before light
I left her with passages of your word to fight
love letters from me to her
I prayed
When she called cause she needed my special care
I went, I nursed her, I babied her, I talked to her
I prayed
I prayed
I prayed
I begged
I prayed
I begged
When they weren’t strong enough to sit with her at the end
When all hope was winding down
When she was on her way to you
I asked
Where are you??
What are you doing??
Why are you doing ??
I told her you were with her always.
I told her to go be with you.
They asked me to pray??
I didn’t want to pray, I just wanted to cry in silence.
But I held their hand over her body and prayed you would receive her in your arms and she would suffer no more
Because I am your child.
I prayed
You spoke quietly
I was overcome with quiet greif
I left
I prayed
Even in the depths of dark greif and despair
Your strength was all I had.
I prayed
When you smoke cigarettes you may be told that smoking causes cancer. The side of the cigarette pack has a warning which reads something like this: Quitting smoking now may reduce the chance of getting cancer. This is a lie. What the warning should say is something like this: Quit now!!! Don’t even start smoking. Smoking is directly linked to the most aggressive form of cancer. Small Cell Lung Cancer is directly linked to smoking. If you have ever smoked in your life it can form in your body. Usually the lungs and then it spreads faster than wildfire. Only 10 percent of small cell lung cancer patients survive. This means you have only a ten percent chance of living if it attacks your body.
This makes me terribly angry. The reason I am angry is that we are not told the entire truth about smoking and cancer. Most people today believe that cancer is curable with chemo, radation, or surgery. This is not a fact. Small Cell Lung Cancer is a very quiet theif of life. Most of the time you are unaware you are it’s target until it is all over you.
This is the truth for Cathy. Whom is Cathy you are asking. Cathy was my sister-in-law and she passed away at the early age of 46 on November 4, 2008. Cathy was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer 1month and 2 days from the day she died. Cathy suffered through 12 radiation treatments and 3 chemo intravenous treatments and several chemo pills. Cathy within the first week lost her ability to focus with both eyes, the ability to speak clearly. By the second week Cathy was so weak at times she could not get out of bed on her own but needed assistance to do so in the evening. Cathy had the fight of Hercules in her spirit. She said she was gonna fight and win. In fact, the tumors in her lung and possibly in her spinal fluid did reduce in size. She fought harder than anyone I have ever seen fight against all odds. While the cancer was reducing in some places it was spreading to her brain. She had seizures and cause her to be unconscience and dependent on a ventilater to live. She hated the tube down her throat. The first couple of days she was responsive with her eyes, shaking her head, squeezing your hand. After that Cathy was no longer there.
Cathy left behind a husband of 26 years. A daughter who was 25, 2 grandsons that were the sun and the moon in her world. She left behind 3 sisters and 2 brothers that loved her like a mother. You see she was the little momma of all of them. She left behind 3 brother-in-laws who loved her so much that when they speak of her there face shines with a smile that she put there the minute they came into the family. She left behind me her sister-in-law my best friend. We loved, we played, we fought, we dreamed to grow old together. She did not make it. She had a loving heart. She could cut you off at the knees with one look. She was feirce and passionate in everything she did. She was a Steel Magnolia.
She quit smoking 3 years ago.
This is her truth.
Listen to these words smoking kills and tortures you first and there may be no cure. Don’t leave behind the family that loves you, don’t smoke and quit right now. Do not partake in something you have been lied to about for the sake of the almighty dollar. Do not lose your fight because of someone else’s greed. Live,, Love, Laugh with your family healthy. This is the Truth for Cathy.
